What to write at the end of a year? This question has smoldered in my mind for the whole day. I didn't have many good memories to write about like others. I tried my best to forget as much as I could about what happened to me during this freaky year and while I'm enjoying myself for the effort, I don't wanna soil my beloved room with any of that dirt.
This time last year, I was neither home nor at my usual place. In my dim memory, I still remember how hurt and painful I felt while sitting in a warm little room, a peaceful corner which is a huge pride of its owner, tears wanting to burst out but they couldn't. Mentally and physically, I was deadly sick. Thinking over it, I'm surprised at how I managed to live through it all and come back to this endearing life. I know this is not an appropriate time to talk about death (but I wonder when should be) but if you know how badly I wanted to leave this world, you'll understand how amazed I am when looking back, seeing how far I've gone to get to this point, even talking about love in this room post after post. When I'm writing down these words, a strange feeling keeps fluttering all over my body. I don't know what it really is, maybe because I, in some way, am recalling what has been long buried and when it comes to mind again, I feel overwhelmed.
I had a horrible beginning and all I feel now is a deep gratitude towards God (or any powerful high spirits above) for letting me enjoy a peaceful ending. I cried a lot, I screamed (in my heart) a lot, I cursed this life a lot, I hated people a lot, I wanted to end my life in a bloody way... but now, in my mind there is only one voice softly whispering: "let's go home, dear."
Let's go home and start it all again, your precious life.
This year is over.
No comments:
Post a Comment