It took me weeks to investigate more than 50 school websites in order to short list some suitable ones. A friend of mine once advised that I should simultaneously apply to several schools - by which she meant all "low ranked - med ranked - high ranked" ones - to higher my matriculation probability but it's kinda funny (or pity) that my desired program nearly fall into prestige schools only. What a nice choice I made, eh? (T_T) Mom said I might look around in some small schools to see if they provided the same program, but for God's sake, she should have remembered where she studied it. I also considered choosing a different program but then found it so hard to write a proper statement of purpose, proving what I'd done and would do with it. In short, my mind simply went blank if I got out of track - which is equal to "choosing a path which leads me to where-I-don't-know", instead of firmly sticking to ONE decision as usual.
The hurdle is much more difficult this time. I wouldn't compete with a few thousand people in this small country, I would have to compete with the world. It's big, it's magnificent, it's enchanting, but it's cruel and always willing to slap me on the face. But again, just as the highschool days, I have no vision of any failure 'cos I don't ever think of it. Still, however, I'm afraid. I really am very scared. I'm not scared of being failed, but of myself, instead, afraid that I can't overcome my own bad habits and negative character traits. I don't mean to wait for the apples to fall in my lap but if I try hard enough this time, will I be blessed again?
[So adorable, eh? *^_^* - www.wallcoo.com]
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